my fucking life.
i’m going to take my sweet time appreciating
obi barristan kenobi
George R.R. Martin can’t tweet because he’s killed off all 140 characters

The Onion’s Tips For New College Graduates: Full Report
- Find the shittiest apartment known to humankind and move in with three people you don’t know from Craigslist
- Send one resume out and wait at least one year to hear back
- Remember to use your $35 Best Buy graduation gift card from your uncle wisely
- Contract any severe diseases now while you’re still covered under your parents’ health insurance
- Tell people you want to go into venture capital and they’ll be impressed
- Whole Foods stores throw out a surprising amount of hummus that is still totally fine
- As you begin your job search, make sure there are no typos on the first 11 or 12 pages of your cover letter
- If you want to explore your interests and expand your horizons, you should’ve done that two years ago when you had the chance
everyone’s gettin really tired of your shit, tony stark
GETTING RATHER WEARY OF YOUR SHIT MAN OF IRON

For Pike The Polar Bear’s 30th birthday, the San Francisco Zoo brought in some snow. You could say she was pretty excited about it.